I'm in chorus on my phone, and we're not really doing anything. My "friend" is lying on the risers in her boyfriend's lap, and they keep making out and touching each other. It's disgusting. Not to mention that he is my ex. That part doesn't really bother me as much. They're just irritating. He's 19 and she just turned 16. He's not even supposed to be in school because the seniors had their last day some time last week. He just follows her to all of her classes to make out.
Ugh. My next class is my foreign language. I have no idea why, but that class is so triggering. Maybe it's the preppy people who look down on everyone in there. Or my teacher. He hasn't done anything to me, but for some reason he makes me totally uncomfortable. He's a really good teacher. I just feel like he hates me. I feel like all of my teachers do. Even my chorus director. He has been my favorite teacher in high school but I feel like he hates me now. I feel the same with my friends. And my family. And everyone.
I feel like everyone judges me or talks bad about me whenever I walk by. Am I just being paranoid? I hate going up in front of a crowd now-- small or big-- because I feel like everyone is judging me. I never really had that problem before. I used to be confident in nearly everything. Especially music. But now I feel like I suck at even that.
I just want to be happy again!!
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